Local Highlights

Where the elves go when they're not wanted

A few moments of dignity

I was originally going to call this post 

The Weight Wake-up Call (Or the thrilling tale of 'The Belly of Death and Destruction')

I went through all my old pictures and found what I thought was truly damning evidence of my tremendous weight gain, thirty pounds since last February. But when I put the most recent few in I realized something. I don't look fat, not in the least. I kept rewriting the tag line under the fourth picture, trying to justify it's purpose as proof that I've gained weight. And I couldn't do it. I don't look fat in it or any pictures I could find. (Cry for me right?)  Now I know I need to lose weight. None of my pants fit and since all my pudge seems to congregate around my middle, rather than dispersing evenly, I have that unfortunate pregnant-when-I'm-really-not look. But I'll admit the situation is much less dire than I thought. So instead of showing you pictures of me when I wasn't fat, but thought I was, I'll give you a few of my more dignified moments over recent years. 



This is me three years ago:

                                                                (Rock'n the forced smile)

Two years ago:

                                                           (Check out that sunburn baby)

Last year

    (My boyfriend for whatever reason thought this was hilarious. He kept asking me to step closer to the sign)

And this year....

Well there aren't any pictures of me this year. Mainly because it's still February, partly because I'm not feeling very photogenic, and ultimately because I can't find my camera. So instead I'll leave you with another gem from last year.

                                                                  (Yup, very dignified)

If it runs, thinks, or does tricks - IT'S NOT A ZOMBIE

This may qualify as an argument that seems pointless to those unconcerned with the subject, but I don't care.  I feel the need to speak out against the rampant misrepresentation of zombie kind.  Zombies used to be universally recognizable as shambling, stupid, and most importantly dead.  Their ability to induce terror came from their unending determination, and ability to "live" through nearly any attack. They may have moved slowly, but by golly they kept going.  They were easily outsmarted, climbing a latter, locking a car door, walking at a brisk pace in the other direction. But if you were unlucky enough to get caught in a corner, stairwell, sewer, or in some cases B movies where people never think to close doors, climb latters, or walk briskly away, they inevitably ate you.

But nowadays, "Zombies" run, they make weapons, they mysteriously refuse to rot or decay, they even outsmart normal healthy people.  Some movies do this by using the "Zombie Virus." A virus that mimics zombie-like reactions in infected victims. They become blood thirsty, insensible, and in most cases vastly harder to kill. Like in 28 Days Later, Resident Evil, and Zombieland. Well Zombieland relied more on the traditional idea that zombies were dead, not just infected, but they still ran after people and that bothered me. (Actually a lot of things bothered me about the movie, including the bit at the end where two girls, who previously demonstrated reasonable intelligence, decided to strap themselves into a amusement park ride that repeatedly dangled them at brain-grabbing distance. But anyway...)